When I moved to Manila and joined CCF three years ago, the very first thing I wanted to do was join the music ministry. I told my leader about it to ask for help. She said it would be best if I took the time to adjust first in the new environment of college and Manila before I joined a ministry, so I honored her advice. Plus, the auditions for the music ministry that year had already happened, so …I didn’t really have a choice.
A year passed by and the time came for me to audition. I was joyfully praying and preparing for it when just a few days before the audition day I got a text saying it had been postponed. The audition was moved to the time of my class – a class I couldn’t risk missing. I really wanted to cut class, but I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. I knew it wasn’t what God wanted me to do, so I went to class and missed the audition. Again, I had to wait for another year before I could audition, so I did.
This was last year, 2015. Towards the end of the year, Elevate announced that there would be auditions for the music team, so I signed up again. Once more, I greatly prayed and prepared for it. I was so filled with excitement when all of a sudden they announced that it would be postponed. It was moved to another date and again it got postponed until it ended up getting cancelled. I was really hopeful last year. In my mind, I was telling myself, “This is it!! The time has finally come!” But again, God said otherwise.
It was very difficult to accept. The longer I waited, the harder it became to trust in God. I thought maybe God didn’t want me to serve Him through singing, so I finally surrendered. I had already accepted that it wasn’t God’s will for me.
Moving on to this year, March 2016, it was announced that there would be auditions for the music team. My heart’s desire never changed. I still wanted to join. But because of the 3 years of failed attempts, I became very hesitant, insecure and fearful. I wanted to audition, but I was too scared that I might just end up hoping for something that was hopeless. I wanted so badly to make sure that my desire was also the same as His, so I prayed again and again.
To be honest, God never really gave me a clear answer, but I still chose to audition. I told myself, if I would pass it must mean that God shares with my desire of singing for Him. And if I wouldn’t, then it must mean that He desires for me to serve in a different ministry.
I auditioned on March 19 and results came out on April 9. I passed!!!! Fast forward to May 7, I sang for the Lord. My voice wasn’t in the best condition since I had just recovered from losing my voice due to heavy coughing, but my heart was. My heart was and is still overwhelmed.
It took three years before God’s ‘wait” became a definite ‘yes.’ But the mystery, uncertainty, and difficulty of it all was so beautiful. It was absolutely worth the wait! I am beyond grateful. Not only because God gave me my heart’s desire, but more so because He gave me the privilege of experiencing His great love in a much deeper level while waiting.
To God be the glory!!
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